Organ Donation Part 2

So when I was eighteen, I thought a great deal about the unselfish act of giving a part of yourself to save the life of another person. I was thrilled with the idea of carrying on in a way that one might not expect. I was fine with helping out wherever and whenever I could...In whatever way.
As a young adult, i began to contemplate the fragile questions about God and "a larger plan" and interference with Fate and Destiny. What is Right? How do we play God in lives of others and how do we justify certain acts that take a part in the "greater good?"

These huge questions linger as I push into midlife. But at 21, I decided i did NOT want to donate my organs. My explanation is not clear, though. I change my mind about it regularly. I feel a great deal of shame for being so unsure about something that seems so easy to decide. Are my organs made to "give away?"

Ok.

So...if I have passed away and I am no longer a part of this world, I know that I am not going to be using my organs. I am not my body.

But my body is a reflection of me in this world, it's my tool. It's mine to take care of, to make choices with. No one can take care of it better than me. Right? Can I make choices about it when I am gone?

But if the energy that is Who I Am is no longer using the tool, shouldn't I share the tool with others. Yes.

Well, no. Why is it that humans decide?

A friend of mine, when I said I was a scientist said, "No you are not." He argued that science is not the only lens through which I look to make choices about the world or to veiw situations.

I was in shock at first. Though I should not have been.

My faith is another lens through which I look when I make my decisions, as it should be ( I will not go into detail here about my faith). But my science brain continutes to battle with my spiritual self. Years I have spent questioning, wondering, discovering, rediscovering, and finding forever in every moment. I notice that I have learned a great deal....yet there are still unanswered questions...and therefore...I have learned little.

What if The Divine Plan is that a person is suppose to leave? What if my life and the lessons I am suppose to learn are related to my knee injury? If I donate my organs to others, what if their lessons are altered in a way that they were not suppose to?

I do, however, believe that everything happens for a reason.

Hmmmmm.....

As for organ donation...well...the jury is still deliberating in my mind. And until there is no shadow of doubt, I feel it best to keep my parts to myself....however selfish it may seem.

Knowing tomorrow, I may change my mind.

I will let you know.

Posts to Come...

In an effort to try to write more... and to reflect on things that I have been thinking, I am commiting to posting on the following topics over the next couple of weeks:

• My Day As Defined By a Column in my PLanner
• Hawk: My mild Mannered "Co-con-spirit-or"
• What do we mean when we say "Stronger?"
• Yoga=Union: The Insights of a Pilgrimage to Union

My hope is that by putting out there that I will write on these things, I will not be fooled into being distracted by life and not fulfill my life as a Blogger.

At least, not until I run out of good topics.

*wink*

Organ Donation: Part 1

I have a colleague who is looking to do one of the most humanitarian acts I can believe possible. She has wanted for years, and has recently decided, to donate one of her kidney's to a person who might need it. This boggles my mind.

I know that in countries such as India, Bulgaria, and Brazil, people donate their kidneys for thousands of dollars as a way to find money to support their families, to find extra money, and to work themselves out of debt. I have met one person in my life who has donated a kidney to a young relative who struggled for life, but in the end, died. It was a heart-wrenching story.

I was thrown back into some thinking I have done in years past about organ donation when my colleague announced this to me recently. At the age of sixteen, I was asked when I received my drivers license, if I wanted to be an organ donar. I immediately had to make a choice. My father being a physicians assistant at a Children's Hospital, I thought of the children that he did not know by face, but by byopsy tissue. I thought of the young lives that could be saved by an organ donation. I said yes.

Upone renewing my license, at the age of 18, I found myself bombarded with the same question. I two years time, I changed my mind. I remembered being etremely self conscious after replying "No" to the question of organ donation. I wondered if the woman behind the counter would think me heartless, selfish, or inconsiderate. I drove home that day in angst. "Why had I decided not to donate my organs?" I wondered to myself about this for weeks. The question haunted me.

After deep thinking and challenging insights, I decided that I would not change my mind at the time, and see how I felt about it when I was older.

I'd like to share some of the thoughts that went through my mind then, and that have resurfaced in recent dialogues with co-workers, friends and with my partner.

But before I share, I would like any reader to ask themselves what their reasons may or may not be for choosing to be an organ donar...or for choosing not to be one.

It's a question that, I beleive no one should take lightly.

(to be continued)