too long

i took a long hiatus from this blog. couldn't even remember the password. this is my blog, though.

I am reflecting today on the life of an activist who was in my circles. I have been reading about his work all day. I am reeling with questions about where he might be finding himself today, other than held by the people who knew him best.

In honor of Art.

An old Oak fell on the hill
and no one was around to hear.
it is not true that no sound was made.
for his voice was the loudest among thousands.

blessings to you friend. May your legacy be lifted to its highest places and may peace prevail from this point on.

the truth revealed

i've fallen out of touch with the world that i know.

i used to notice my passion, my care, my hope about the world. over the past year i have been myred in frustration, pain and intense fear.

it might sound odd for people who know me to hear this....or maybe not....

maybe i am just discovering where this frustration has been hiding and, how it has manifested in various forms in my life.

so this one woman's name keeps coming to mind. and it's not because she was a powerful leader during the time of intense oppression of African and African-American people in our country, and it's not because she is remembered for her bravery and her battle for justice. it is, in fact, her name that has been on my mind, and in my mouth.

for over four years now.

i work for an organziation named after this very woman. and her last name, though not her birth name, is a word that vibrates in me like the bell in the church tower.

Truth.

i wanted my first born child to hold Truth as a middle name.

but...this entry is not about a name. it is about the beginning of a journey toward that very thing; truth.

in the next entries, i will begin a stream of consciousness confession of my life's truths.

here is what i ask of readers:

before you judge remember that we are human and that with each step, my ultimate goal is to walk the walk. in other words, i want to know that my humanity is left to be judged by the divine spirit and not other humans who are in the same inane struggle for divinity (i will address my feelings about this loaded sentence later).

also, if you read something that you feel is too personal, i ask you to think about the word courage and how it relates to you and your life. then ask yourself, "what am I afraid to say?"

finally, i ask that if you comment (which i hope you do), i will honor your comments as part of your journey and reflections. it is with joy that i share these stories, reflections with you in my best effort to know myself and to know what loving people really means.

so here i go.

Opening the Circle

I am not the sort that takes a compliment well, though I am getting better. And it is difficult for me to be on the receiving end of gifts. I am the one who gives.

See, I forget that when we are not comfortable about receiveing gifts, we deny others the sincere joy of giving. Wonderment is a pleasure but service to others is more of a pleasure.

We honor, both ourselves and others by allowing ourselves to be loved and appreciated.

In my culture- supposedlyJudao-Christian in nature-- it is humbling to receive gifts; we must be not be proud or lustful or greedy. But if we are giving others joy be receiving gifts with gratitude, then are we not honoring the Divine Connection with all things?

I suspect that there is a balance to receiving and giving. How do we find that when the individualistic society presses it's tribalistic/globalistic agenda in our face?

I say...open your circle. Get to know more and more and more people in the most real ways possible. Listen to their stories. And notice how they are lik you and me and then, notice again.

You only Have this Tool: Take Care

She said, "Healthy communities focus on what is possible."

I say, so do healthy people.

She said," Ubuntu: We exist because we are together."

I am grateful for this word, because it summarizes what we know intrinsically: that we are NOT made to be able to exist without connection, not matter how much our ego says that we wish to stand on our own.

Love is much more demanding than Law.--Archbishop D. Tutu

We are bound to one another by love and love alone. We have a desire to see others survive so that we might do the same. Therefore, if you do unto yourself what you would have them do to themselves.....well....

I find the battle to be able to take time and space to get what I need is real, long, intense. As a young leader I find myself wanting to give up on trying to inpsire others...someitmes wanting to scream out, warning them to quit now. But what I know to be true is that their survival is dependant on my survival....and vise versa.

Spread love.

All My Relations

Ho.

A friend of mine once told me that you can learn a great deal about the way a man will treat you in a realtionship by how he treats the waitress in a restaurant. I have heard, too, that you can tell how a man will treat a woman in a relationship by how he treats his mother or sister. It is also said that you can tell the kind of man that a woman is looking for in a partner by observing her father. I believe all these to be true....sometimes.

Sometimes isn't always.

What I know about relationships is that they are dynamic, flowing, ever-changing. What I know through my experiences and through stories of friends is that we do, in fact, often play out the behaviors of our parents, their parents, and their parents' parents. In relationships to people and the world. In other words, we continue to play the same parts over and over through generations.

And I also know that within each of us is the power to stop the cycle right now.

This gives me great hope.

An Ode to Those Leaders Leading the Leadership Life

An Ode to Those Leaders Leading the Leadership Life

Leading is luscious,
a foundry of fumbles and feverish fun.

Leading is simple, silly,
and social; saturating
and sobering.

Leading is hopeful, hysterical,
helpful--
holistically healthy.

Leading is made of memorable
moments of mishaps
and martyrdom.

Leading is
active, aggravating,
and awesome.

Leading is luxurious and
luminating;
wonderful and wild.

Leading is daunting,
dynamic,
and
daring.

Leading is
forgetting and frantically
following.

Leading is ruthless;
random and riveting;
reaching for what's right.

Leading is brave, bold,
and breathtaking.

Leading is laughable--
trying, terrifying, trembling;
gorgeous, glorious, and good.

To all those leading the leading life....

flow,

frame it freshly,

feel foolish and

fly!

By tree (c) 2004--under real name

Lessons of the Armadillo

Marsupial or crustacean? I am not sure about the origins of this creature, but what I do know is that the lesson she teaches is clear: Protect yourself.

I take this with a deep sigh.

Her message is really about making sure that as we reach out to love so many people in our lives, as compassionate people do, it's important to reach out to ourselves, too by setting boundaries. We must give ourselves the space that we need to walk with confidence and love in our hearts for all. We do this by saying, "This is where I stop and you begin." Boundaries are important, for health, for safety, and for whole living.

Armadillo can wrap herself into a ball if she needs...if she feels threatened or until danger has passed.

Thanks for your lessons, Ms. Armadillo.